February 9, 2026
Family conflict

My Husband Pushed Me Off a 5th-Floor Balcony on Christmas—And I Survived by Landing on My Ex’s Car

  • December 24, 2025
  • 25 min read
My Husband Pushed Me Off a 5th-Floor Balcony on Christmas—And I Survived by Landing on My Ex’s Car

Christmas Eve was supposed to be quiet—the kind of quiet you only get when snow muffles a city’s sharp edges. Denver looked like a postcard from our fifth-floor balcony: lights strung like necklaces across rooftops, cars moving slowly below, the air glittering with tiny ice crystals that caught the streetlamps and pretended the world was gentle.

I had tried to believe in that gentleness.

Seven months pregnant, I moved like my body belonged to someone else, one hand always cupping my stomach as if I could physically shield my baby from anything that might go wrong. Inside, the apartment smelled like cinnamon because I’d baked cookies no one had eaten. Our little fake tree stood crooked in the corner because Daniel insisted it didn’t matter if it was straight—“Nobody’s coming over anyway.”

That was one of his new phrases: Nobody’s coming over anyway. Like he was preparing the house for an emptier future.

Daniel stood behind me on the balcony, so still I could feel his silence pressing into the space between us. He’d been like that for weeks—present in body, absent in everything else. He took phone calls in the hallway with the door half closed, voice low and clipped. His laptop never left his side. When I asked what he was doing, he’d smile with a softness that didn’t reach his eyes and say, “Work. You worry too much.”

I had learned, slowly and painfully, that a person can say you worry too much the way they say please stop asking questions.

Earlier that evening, we argued in the kitchen. It started with money, like it always did. The medical bills. The new credit card statement that had charges I couldn’t recognize.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m stealing,” Daniel said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. His face looked handsome in the warm light—dark hair neatly combed, jaw clean-shaven—but his eyes were flat. “I’m your husband.”

“And I’m carrying your child,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “So why are there hotel charges? Why are there cash withdrawals every other day?”

He exhaled like I was exhausting him. “Maybe I’m trying to handle things so you don’t have to.”

“By disappearing in the hallway every time your phone rings?”

His mouth twitched. Not quite a smile. Not quite a sneer. “You’re not stable right now. Pregnancy does that to women.”

That was the moment something cold slid under my ribs. The way he said women—like I wasn’t a person to him, just a category.

I reached for the receipt he’d snatched earlier and held it up. “Daniel, I’m asking you like your wife. Like someone who still believes you love her. Tell me what’s going on.”

He looked at the receipt, then at my belly, then back at my face, and for half a second I saw it: calculation. Not anger. Not fear. A quiet, measured thought, like he was moving chess pieces in his head.

“You need air,” he said suddenly. His voice softened. “Come on. The snow’s nice.”

I should’ve recognized it as a pivot, the way he tried to redirect the conversation whenever I got too close to the truth. But I was tired. My ankles were swollen. My baby kicked like they could feel the tension.

So I followed him.

Outside, the cold slapped my cheeks, and I gripped the balcony railing. Snow had dusted it, a thin white layer like powdered sugar on metal. Below, traffic hummed, and somewhere in the distance someone laughed—high and bright, the sound of people who believed tomorrow was guaranteed.

Daniel stepped closer. He didn’t touch me at first. He just stood beside me, breathing evenly, looking down as if he were watching a movie.

“Feel it,” he said. “The snow.”

I pressed my palms to the railing. The cold bit hard, but it was real. Simple. For a moment, it grounded me.

Then Daniel’s voice turned gentle in a way that made my skin prickle. “Step a little closer. You can see the lights better.”

“Daniel—”

“Just step closer, Ava.” My name sounded strange on his tongue, like he’d practiced saying it differently.

I hesitated. My stomach tightened. Another kick.

“Why are you being weird?” I asked, trying to laugh, trying to make it normal. “It’s freezing.”

He glanced at me, and there it was again—emptiness behind his eyes. No warmth. No irritation. Just a smooth, clean absence.

I turned to face him fully. “Talk to me. Please. I’m scared.”

He looked at my belly as if it were an object, not a life. Then his gaze slid back up to my face. “You’re always scared,” he said softly. “That’s the problem.”

I opened my mouth to answer, but I never got the chance.

His hands pressed hard against my back.

No warning. No dramatic shove with shouting and theatrics. Just a sudden, efficient force, like he was pushing a heavy door closed. My feet slipped on the thin layer of snow. The railing hit my hips. The world tilted.

My breath disappeared.

I remember the precise sensation of my stomach dropping, not from fear, but from physics. Gravity doesn’t care about vows.

“Daniel!” I tried to scream, but cold air stole the sound. My arms flailed for the railing and caught nothing but snow and metal and then nothing at all.

As I fell, time did that cruel trick—stretching seconds into something you can walk through. My thoughts weren’t poetic. They weren’t brave. They were animal-simple.

The baby. Protect the baby.

I curled instinctively, arms wrapping around my stomach, shoulders tucking in. I saw the balcony above shrinking away, Daniel’s face framed by twinkling Christmas lights from someone else’s window. He didn’t look panicked. He didn’t reach for me.

He watched.

The street rushed up, lights smearing into streaks, and then—

Impact.

Metal screamed. Glass burst. Something under me crumpled with a horrible, loud crunch. Pain exploded through my ribs and my hip like a firework going off inside my bones. But I didn’t hit concrete. I didn’t splatter into the sidewalk like my brain had convinced me would happen.

I landed on the roof of a parked car.

For a half second, I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. Shattered safety glass glittered around me like broken ornaments. The car’s roof was caved in, hugging my body like a dented cradle. My breath came in ragged bursts. Somewhere nearby, someone screamed.

Then I saw the bumper sticker on the rear window, half covered in snow: a faded mountain silhouette and the words CLIMB HIGHER.

My heart stuttered.

I knew that sticker.

The car belonged to Michael.

My ex-boyfriend from years ago, the man I left when I thought Daniel was safer, steadier, the “real future.” Michael lived across the street in an older brick building. Earlier that day, he’d texted me—out of nowhere—saying he found some old paperwork of mine in a storage box and asked if I wanted it. I’d said yes because the paperwork was related to my student loans—boring, harmless, nothing dramatic.

He must’ve parked there to run it up to me.

If he’d been ten minutes later, the spot would’ve been empty.

Sirens came like a wave—first distant, then closer, then right on top of me. Doors slammed. Boots crunched in snow. Voices shouted.

“Call 911!”

“She fell—she fell from up there!”

“Oh my God, she’s pregnant!”

A face appeared above me—an older woman with gray hair pulled into a tight bun, her mouth trembling. Mrs. Pruitt from down the hall. She always complained about my music being too loud.

“Ava,” she breathed, eyes wide. “Oh, sweetheart—don’t close your eyes. Don’t you dare.”

I tried to speak. My tongue felt thick. “Daniel…” I rasped.

She looked up toward my balcony, her face shifting. “I saw him. He’s still up there.”

“Don’t…” My voice cracked. “Don’t let him…”

Paramedics leaned in, cutting my coat open, pressing warm gloved hands against my neck. A man’s voice, calm and trained, filled my ears.

“Ma’am, stay with me. What’s your name?”

“Ava,” I whispered. “Ava Miller.”

“Ava, you’re doing great. We’re going to get you down. Can you tell me if you fell or… did someone push you?”

My eyes burned. The sky above me was a blur of snow and flashing red lights. I thought of Daniel’s hands. The emptiness.

“He pushed me,” I said. Each word felt like dragging a heavy chain. “My husband… pushed me.”

The paramedic’s face tightened. “Okay. Okay. We’ve got you.”

Someone shouted up to the balcony. “Sir! Sir, come down here!”

There was no answering voice. No frantic footsteps.

Daniel never came down.

Darkness edged in, thick and heavy. As they lifted me onto a stretcher, the last clear thing I saw was Michael sprinting across the street, his face pale in the flashing lights, eyes locked on me like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Ava!” he yelled. “Oh my God—Ava!”

His voice cracked open something in me—an old memory of safety I’d abandoned. I tried to reach for him, but my arms were strapped down.

Then the world went black.

When I woke up, everything smelled like disinfectant and plastic. The light was harsh. The beep of a monitor kept time with my heart. I tried to move and pain pinned me to the bed.

A nurse noticed my eyes open and leaned in quickly. She had warm brown skin and kind eyes, her hair tucked under a cap.

“Hey,” she said gently. “Hey, welcome back. You’re in Denver Health. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

My throat was sandpaper. “My baby.”

The nurse’s expression softened. “Your baby’s heartbeat is strong. They’re monitoring you. You had a fracture and bruising, but you’re… you’re a miracle, honestly.”

Tears slid down my temples into my hair. I tried to swallow. “Daniel.”

The nurse’s face tightened for the first time. “Your husband has been asking questions, but—”

“Liar,” I croaked, and the word surprised me. “He didn’t ask anything. He pushed me.”

The nurse blinked, startled, then glanced behind her, as if checking who might hear. “Detective’s already here,” she said quietly. “He’s been waiting for you to wake up.”

Detective Costello came in ten minutes later: mid-forties, tired eyes, jaw set like he’d seen too many tragedies. He pulled a chair close, notebook in hand.

“Mrs. Miller,” he said. “I’m Detective Henry Costello. I need to ask you some questions.”

I stared at him, trying to steady my breath. “Daniel tried to kill me.”

He didn’t react like it was shocking. He reacted like he’d suspected it. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

So I did. I told him about the argument. About the receipts. About the hallway calls. About Daniel telling me to feel the snow. About the calmness. About his hands pressing me forward like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

Costello wrote quickly, his pen scratching.

“Did he say anything right before?” he asked.

I closed my eyes, replaying the moment. “He said… ‘You’re always scared. That’s the problem.’”

Costello’s gaze sharpened. “We have a witness who saw him on the balcony. Mrs. Pruitt. She said he didn’t yell, didn’t call for help. He just stood there and then went back inside.”

My hands trembled under the thin blanket. “He’s going to say I slipped.”

“We’ll handle that,” Costello said, but his tone held a caution that scared me more than reassurance. “We tried to contact him last night. He wasn’t there.”

“Not there?”

“He left the apartment sometime after paramedics arrived. His car was gone when we checked.”

A cold wave rolled through me. “He ran.”

Costello nodded. “We put out an alert. We also spoke to a man named Michael Carter—the owner of the vehicle you landed on.”

Michael’s name hit me like another fall. “Is he… okay?”

Costello’s mouth twitched. “He’s shaken. Angry. Also… surprisingly cooperative. He said he’s willing to testify that your husband’s been acting strange. Claims Daniel confronted him downstairs a week ago.”

I frowned. “Confronted him?”

Costello flipped a page. “Michael says Daniel approached him in the lobby and told him to ‘stay away’ from you, even though Michael says he hasn’t been around you in years.”

My mind raced. Daniel knew about the paperwork text. He watched my phone, my emails. He monitored everything like a warden.

“Where is Michael now?” I asked.

“In the waiting room,” Costello said carefully. “He asked to see you, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Let him in,” I whispered.

Costello hesitated, then nodded and stepped out.

A minute later, Michael came in slowly, as if afraid a sudden movement might break me. His hair was messy, snow-melt dampening the collar of his jacket. His eyes were red-rimmed, jaw clenched so tight a muscle jumped.

He stopped at the foot of my bed and just stared at me like he was seeing a ghost.

“Ava,” he said hoarsely. “Jesus.”

Tears welled again. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, absurdly. “Your car…”

He barked a humorless laugh. “Forget the car. I thought… I thought you were dead.”

His voice cracked. He stepped closer, lowering his head as if he couldn’t bear the fluorescent light on his face.

“I saw him,” he said, barely controlled rage in every syllable. “I saw Daniel on that balcony. He didn’t look scared. He looked… like he was waiting for it to be over.”

I swallowed through pain. “He pushed me.”

Michael’s hands curled into fists. “I know.”

Silence fell between us, heavy with all the years we hadn’t spoken, and with the violent way our lives had collided again.

“I need you to listen,” Michael said suddenly, glancing toward the door. “I talked to Detective Costello. But there’s more. I didn’t tell him everything yet because I didn’t want to sound crazy.”

My skin prickled. “What?”

Michael leaned closer. “Two days ago, Daniel came to my building. Not the lobby—my floor. He rang my doorbell like he belonged there.”

My heart hammered. “Why?”

Michael’s eyes darkened. “He offered me money.”

I stared. “Money… for what?”

“For you,” Michael said, voice shaking with anger. “He said, ‘You used to love her, right? You’d do anything for her?’ Then he said he wanted to ‘make sure’ you’d be in the right place at the right time.”

My breath hitched. “The car… the parking spot…”

Michael nodded grimly. “He told me to park across the street on Christmas Eve. Said he needed me to deliver a folder and wanted to avoid building security. He even texted me a fake reason to make it seem normal. He said it was something about your debt paperwork. He wanted me there.”

A cold clarity spread through me, sharper than pain meds. “He planned it.”

Michael’s face twisted with disgust. “I thought he was trying to set up some romantic surprise. I thought… maybe he wanted me out of your life for good, and this was his way of proving he wasn’t threatened. He was calm. Too calm.”

My mouth went dry. “He wanted me to land on your car.”

“So it wouldn’t look like he killed you,” Michael whispered. “So you’d survive just enough to suffer, or—” He swallowed hard. “Or so it would look like a freak accident. A pregnant woman slips, falls, tragically lands on a parked car instead of the sidewalk. A terrible Christmas accident.”

I stared at the ceiling, nausea churning. “But why risk me surviving at all?”

Michael’s eyes flicked to my belly. “Maybe because the baby… complicates things. He couldn’t just vanish you without questions. But an ‘accident’—insurance, sympathy, no prison.”

The nurse came back in, adjusting my IV. She glanced at Michael and then at me, her face careful.

“Ava,” she murmured, “there’s another visitor. A woman. She says it’s urgent.”

My stomach clenched. “Who?”

The nurse looked uncomfortable. “Her name is Lila.”

My blood turned to ice.

Lila was Daniel’s assistant. Young, polished, always smiling too brightly at office parties. Daniel insisted she was “just good at her job.” I’d once found a lipstick mark on Daniel’s coffee cup and he told me it was probably mine.

I looked at Michael. His expression hardened. “Want me to stay?”

“Yes,” I said instantly.

The nurse stepped out, and a moment later Lila walked in.

She wore a long cream coat, expensive, the kind of coat you buy when you expect to be seen. Her hair was curled perfectly. But her eyes—her eyes were frantic, darting, like a trapped animal.

“Ava,” she breathed, closing the door behind her. “Oh my God. You’re awake.”

I watched her, my voice flat. “Why are you here, Lila?”

Her mouth trembled. She glanced at Michael, then back to me. “I—Daniel told me not to come. But I couldn’t—” She sucked in a breath. “He’s gone.”

“I know,” I said. “He tried to kill me.”

Lila flinched as if slapped. “He said you fell. He said you were unstable and—”

“Stop,” I snapped, pain sparking with the effort. “Stop repeating his script. Why are you really here?”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Because he’s going to do it to me next.”

The room went very still.

Michael shifted, his body subtly between her and me. “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

Lila wiped her cheeks, shaking. “Daniel’s not just… cheating. He’s in trouble. Big trouble. He’s been moving money—company funds, investors’ money—through shell accounts. He told me it was temporary. He told me he’d fix it before anyone noticed.”

I stared, mind snapping pieces into place: the secrecy, the cash withdrawals, the hotel charges.

“He needed a distraction,” I whispered.

Lila nodded, sobbing. “He said if something happened to you, he’d get your life insurance. And he’d get… custody of the baby, and then—” She choked. “He said he’d control everything. He said people would feel sorry for him. A grieving husband. Everyone would forgive.”

My hands trembled. “There’s no life insurance,” I said slowly. “Not enough. Daniel never wanted to pay for anything ‘unnecessary.’”

Lila’s eyes widened. “There is. He took one out two months ago. A big one. He made you the policyholder but he—he listed himself as beneficiary. He forged parts of the paperwork. I saw it. I have copies.”

Michael swore under his breath.

My pulse pounded so hard it hurt. “Where is he?”

Lila’s face went pale. “I don’t know. But I think he’s heading to New Mexico. He talked about a friend there who can ‘make people disappear.’ Ava, listen to me—he’s not done. He thinks you’re going to die in the hospital. He thinks you’ll never talk.”

I met her gaze, and something in me snapped from fear into steel.

“I’m not dying,” I said.

Lila swallowed. “He told me if you survived, he’d say you were lying because of postpartum hormones. He said no one would believe a ‘hysterical pregnant woman’ over him.”

I remembered his voice: You’re not stable right now. Pregnancy does that to women.

The cruelty of it made my vision go red.

I looked at the nurse, who had returned silently and now stood in the doorway, eyes wide. “Call Detective Costello,” I said. “Now.”

Costello came quickly, and the room became a storm of voices, statements, evidence. Lila handed over a flash drive she’d kept hidden in her purse. Michael backed up her story with the offer Daniel made him. Mrs. Pruitt’s witness statement went on record again. The nurse, whose name I learned was Tasha, quietly told Costello she’d heard Daniel making odd comments in the hallway the night before—asking the staff too many questions about “how long” a pregnant trauma patient could last.

Daniel thought he was clever. He thought he could control the narrative.

But narratives change when women live.

Two days later, Daniel was caught at a motel outside Santa Fe. Not because he made a mistake—but because he couldn’t resist checking his own reflection online. He used a stolen phone to search his name, to see if the news called him a tragic husband.

Costello told me later, shaking his head. “He wasn’t even running well,” he said. “He was running for attention.”

When Daniel was brought into the station, he asked for a lawyer immediately. He asked if the baby was alive. He asked if he could “see his wife.”

He never asked if I was okay.

I didn’t see him until my first court appearance, three weeks later, when I walked in on crutches, my belly rounder, my body still bruised under my coat. The courtroom smelled like old paper and cold air. The Christmas decorations in the hallway—cheap tinsel left up too long—looked pathetic now, like someone had tried to force joy into a place built for truth.

Daniel sat at the defense table in a suit I’d bought him for our anniversary. He looked thinner, but composed. He turned when I entered and gave me a look that might’ve fooled strangers: sadness, shock, a wounded husband’s pain.

But I knew him.

I saw the calculation under the mask.

His lawyer leaned in, whispering, and Daniel nodded slowly, then looked back at me with a faint, almost affectionate tilt of his head, like he was reminding me of who he used to pretend to be.

When I took the stand, the room hushed.

My attorney, a sharp woman named Marisol Grant, guided me through the story in steady steps. I told it clearly: the receipts, the balcony, the push, the emptiness in his eyes, the impact on Michael’s car. I kept my voice even, not because I wasn’t emotional, but because I refused to give Daniel what he wanted—a picture of me as unstable.

Then the defense attorney stood.

“Mrs. Miller,” he said smoothly, “you were under a great deal of stress, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“And you were seven months pregnant.”

“Yes.”

“And you’d been arguing with your husband.”

“Yes.”

He smiled slightly. “Isn’t it possible you stepped closer to the railing, lost your footing on the snow, and fell?”

I stared at him. “No.”

He lifted his hands. “But you admit there was snow. You admit you were upset. You admit you were stressed. Isn’t it possible your mind is—”

“My mind is not confused,” I cut in, the words slicing through the courtroom. “He pushed me. And he didn’t call 911. He didn’t come downstairs. He fled.”

The lawyer’s smile tightened. “Your ex-boyfriend happened to have his car parked directly below your balcony.”

“Yes,” I said.

“And you just happened to land on it, saving your life.”

“Yes.”

He leaned forward as if sharing a secret. “That’s quite the coincidence, isn’t it?”

“No,” I said, and the word rang.

A murmur rippled through the room.

Marisol stood. “Your Honor, may I introduce Exhibit D?”

The judge nodded.

Marisol held up printed screenshots of messages.

“These are texts between Mr. Daniel Miller and Mr. Michael Carter,” she said, voice clear. “In which Mr. Miller instructs Mr. Carter where to park on Christmas Eve. Mr. Carter will testify these instructions came with an offer of money.”

Daniel’s face shifted for the first time—just a flicker, but I saw it: panic.

Then Lila took the stand. She looked smaller without her expensive coat, but her voice didn’t shake as much as I expected. She confessed what she’d helped with, what she’d seen, what she’d feared. She handed over the forged insurance paperwork and the evidence of financial fraud.

And finally, Detective Costello presented the motel footage: Daniel checking in under a fake name, then immediately searching his own name on a lobby computer, like a man addicted to his own myth.

By the time it was over, Daniel’s lawyer looked like he’d swallowed something bitter.

The judge denied bail.

Outside the courthouse, snow began to fall again, soft as silence. Reporters crowded near the steps, shouting questions I couldn’t hear over the pounding in my ears.

Michael stood at my side, steadying my elbow carefully. He didn’t speak for attention. He didn’t try to reclaim the past. He was just there—solid, present, the way Daniel never truly had been.

“You did it,” he murmured, his voice low.

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

Because telling the truth is only step one. Surviving is another. And justice—real justice—takes patience.

Weeks passed. My body healed in stubborn increments. The baby grew stronger. I slept with the lights on sometimes, jolting awake at phantom footsteps in the hallway. Tasha, the nurse, became a quiet friend, texting me reminders to eat, to rest, to breathe.

One evening in early February, Costello called me.

“They found more,” he said.

“More what?” My fingers tightened around the phone.

“Daniel had a second plan,” Costello said grimly. “If the fall didn’t work. He had been researching ways to induce labor. Medications. Certain herbs. And—” He paused. “He had searched your due date, your appointment schedule, your doctor’s name. He was trying to figure out when you’d be alone.”

My skin crawled. I looked around my apartment—now emptied of Daniel’s things, every drawer checked, every cabinet cleaned out like I was scrubbing him from my life.

“He wasn’t going to stop,” I whispered.

“No,” Costello agreed. “He wasn’t.”

That night, I sat on the couch with one hand on my belly, listening to the city outside, the snow against the windows. I thought about how close I’d come to becoming a tragic headline, a cautionary tale people scroll past.

I thought about Daniel’s eyes. The emptiness.

And I realized something that made me laugh once—sharp and incredulous.

He pushed me because he believed I would disappear quietly.

He thought I was the kind of woman who would fall and stay down.

In March, my baby was born—a small, furious miracle with lungs strong enough to announce their presence to the whole hospital. When they placed my child on my chest, warm and real, I sobbed so hard my stitches hurt.

“I’m here,” I whispered into their damp hair. “I’m here. And you’re here. And he didn’t win.”

Tasha stood nearby, smiling through tears. Michael waited in the hallway, respecting the boundary I’d asked for, but when I finally nodded for him to come in, he stepped forward and looked at my baby with awe.

“Hey,” he whispered, like he was greeting something holy. “Hey, little fighter.”

My child’s tiny hand curled around my finger, and Michael’s face crumpled, emotion breaking through his usually controlled expression.

Outside that room, the case moved forward like a train that couldn’t be stopped. Daniel’s fraud charges stacked higher. Investors came forward. Former coworkers testified. His carefully built image cracked and then shattered.

The final sentencing happened on a bright morning in May, when the snow was gone and the city looked like it had forgiven itself.

Daniel stood in court, hands clasped, face pale. When the judge read the sentence—years in prison for attempted murder, fraud, conspiracy—Daniel’s mask finally fell. He turned toward me, eyes blazing, and for the first time I saw real emotion.

Hate.

But it didn’t touch me the way it used to.

Because my child was sleeping in my arms, breathing softly, alive.

As the guards led him away, Daniel called out, voice ragged. “Ava! Ava, please—!”

I didn’t answer.

I didn’t look at him.

I watched the door close behind him and felt something inside me unclench—like a fist finally opening after holding tight for too long.

Outside the courthouse, spring air brushed my face. Cameras flashed. A reporter shouted, “Do you have anything to say to him?”

I looked down at my baby, at the tiny rise and fall of their chest. Then I looked up at the crowd—at the world that Daniel tried to control.

“Yes,” I said quietly, and my voice carried farther than I expected.

“I have something to say to every woman who thinks she has to stay quiet to survive. You don’t. Tell the truth. Even if your voice shakes. Especially if it shakes.”

Michael stood beside me, not possessive, not performative—just present. Tasha waved from a distance. Detective Costello nodded once, a small acknowledgment of a job done right.

As I walked down the courthouse steps, my crutches tapping lightly, I felt the sun on my skin and knew, with a certainty as clean as snow:

Daniel had tried to end my story on Christmas.

But all he did was give me a beginning I would never waste again.

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